An Uncomfortable Place

 11-9-2020

I hit the wall. I got to the point where I couldn't create. I'm slowly coming out of it but it lasted a couple of months. I couldn't create. The only thing I could do was rest and think. Even then, thinking was difficult. It has been a long while since I was in this place. I'm usually very productive and creative but this time, all of my energy was sapped. It was an uncomfortable place. I had painted over 30 paintings and almost 20 drawings. I felt I was on a roll but it came to a screeching halt. Was I tired? Yes. Did I feel like I exhausted my possibilities with my work? No. But I felt a change coming. What that is, I'm not sure yet. I feel a new sense of stirring which will inform my work but I'm in the dark as to what it is. I know I need to get into the studio and work it out. This is unknown and uncharted territory of which I embrace. I'm excited to see what comes out of it but I'm still tired. I'm still in this place of inaction. I'll get to the studio soon; I can feel it coming. I just need to ride this out. 

Part of my responsibility with this is to not get complacent with resting. Resting is a good thing and needed but I can't let it take control forever. I cannot shirk my responsibility of making art. It is my calling, my vocation. I'm using this period to let things germinate. Sometimes it's just sitting and being quiet, listening to the 'Still Small Voice' of the Spirit, other times, it is doing small sketches, working my way through what is inside. Sometimes this type of period is called, Creative Block but I see it as being in an uncomfortable place, one where stagnation and creativity meet. They're conversing, letting their positions inform what I will do, will create. I don't see it as a battle, just a time where seemingly opposing viewpoints are presenting their cases. And I get to hear them out and let them influence my art making. It will eventually allow me to play and climb out of this place.  

That's the day I'm looking forward to, to be able to say goodbye to all this. I appreciate the rest and reprieve but I'm wanting to get back into the studio and move past this place of inaction. My paints and brushes are calling. The canvas is beckoning. I'm looking forward to the day I can experiment and see what transpires in the studio. It will happen and soon, I hope. I'm anticipating a renewed sense of creativity, of making while looking forward to what happens creatively. Who knows? The work may have a new life of their own. I want to see what new things will happen in the studio. It may be uncomfortable in a creative sense. I'll move from one uncomfortable place to another but that's what artists do. We move and operate within the uncomfortable. That's where art is birthed. I get to be in a place of rediscovery, of finding out new and renewed things. I'm looking forward to it. So, Bring It On! Until next time, enjoy, create, and be blessed!

Susan M Gibbons

Stirring 25

Acrylic on Canvas

2020